Gracie Allen's Classic Recipe for Roase Beef


1 large Roast of beef

1 small Roast of beef


Take the two roasts and put them in the oven.

When the little one burns, the big one is done.


For those who don’t know who Gracie Allen was… She was George Burns’ wife.



Did You learn anything from that?



A little Mexican boy goes into the kitchen where his mom Is baking. He Puts his hand in the flour and wipes it all over his face. “Mom, look, I’m a white boy.” His mom slaps him in the face and says, “Go show your Father.”


He goes to his dad in the living room and says, “Look dad, I’m a white Boy.” His dad slaps him hard in the face and says, “Go show Your grandmother.”


The boy goes in his grandmother’s room and says, “Mira, abuelita, I’m a White boy.” His grandmother slaps him in the face and sends him back to His mother.


His mother says, “See. Did you learn anything from that?”


The boy replies, “Sure did. I have only been white for five minutes And already I don’t like you Mexicans



Some Kids are smarter than you think



A stranger was seated next to a little girl on the airplane when the stranger turned to her and said, ‘Let’s talk. I’ve heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger.’


The little girl, who had just opened her book, closed it slowly and said to the stranger, ‘What would you like to talk about?’


‘Oh, I don’t know,’ said the stranger. ‘How about nuclear power?’ and he smiles.


‘OK,’ she said. ‘That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff- grass - . Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?’


The stranger, visibly surprised by the little girl’s intelligence, thinks about it and says, ‘Hmmm, I have no idea.’


To which the little girl replies, ‘Do you really feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don’t know crap ?



-GordaMn